Slogan #57
Don't be jealous.
“Working with this slogan does not mean that you should not notice that some people have more than you do—more money, more power, more ability, more friends, more realization, more intelligence, more creativity, more teachings, more all sorts of things. The idea is to keep the clarity of that observation, but not let it tailspin into fits of jealousy and envy.”
Judy Lief
Jealousy is provocative and entertaining. The feelings of envy, resentment, and irritability are so powerful that they are hard to resist. Moreover, the thoughts, emotions, and actions that they engender have an obsessive quality to them. Jealousy is a pretense for excusing self-absorption and entitlement and as such, is an everyday emotion that responds well to an everyday practice. Instead of feeling ashamed or papering over these uncomfortable feelings, observe jealousy as it arises, pragmatically and without embellishment. Take it in. Really take it in. Be honest about your feelings of judgment and dis-ease. What resides underneath the jealousy? Don’t turn away from feelings of inadequacy, fear, distrust, sadness, or anger but turn towards yourself with tender light-heartedness.
Lojong practice provides an antidote in the form of Tonglen. Jealousy, like the other kleshas or reactive patterns, has the potential for both deep wisdom and deep destruction. Instead of suppressing resentment or acting out, can you celebrate someone else’s happiness as if it were your own? We call this “empathetic joy” which is an advanced practice because it means placing someone else's happiness above your own by understanding the world through their eyes and then celebrating and encouraging their prosperity. This radiant joy dissolves barriers between ourselves and others. Investigate what happens when you shine a light on the happiness and successes of others. This practice is a manual override of the sympathetic nervous system and its default settings of fight (self-criticism), flight (self-isolation), or freeze (self-absorption). The following are much more than positive affirmations but a genuine wish for a shared life of kindness and compassion.
May I be free.
May I be held with compassion.
May you be happy.
May your pain and sorrow be eased.
May we be free from suffering and the causes of suffering such as ill will and envy.
May we be free of anger and bitterness.
Meditation is a practice for being part of the stream of life without shutting down or becoming lost in your stories. Consider interdependent rather than independent and trust that you are not alone just as I trust that I am not alone. Allow jealous feelings to come and go, without letting them capture you. Step out of your self-imposed cage. Release the comparing mind, defensive and guarding behavior in favour of embodying lightness, humour, delight, kindness, and resilience. Make your life the pursuit of generating unconditional positive regard and honouring our intrinsic connection to nature and to each other. Flourish in your most infinite and eternal resource, love.
"The heart that breaks open can contain the whole universe."
Joanna Macy