Slogan #25

Don’t talk about injured limbs

Reflection:

"In the ordinary sense, this slogan simply means not to make fun of others or draw attention to their defects and problems. Rather than dwelling on what is wrong with people, which only exaggerates and perpetuates their weaknesses, we should remember that they are doing the best they can. We should accept them as they are."

Judy Lief

This slogan was a tough one to sit with.

It’s important to acknowledge that at certain times, it is best to distance ourselves from people with "defects and problems" for our well-being. That’s okay too!

This slogan isn't about forcing ourselves to maintain relationships that harm us. Instead, it is about refraining from fixating on others' flaws. When we have friends or loved ones who don’t share our values, have hobbies we find strange or are a bit too loud for our liking, it's about accepting them as they are without criticism. This acceptance creates space for us to live authentically without causing harm to them or ourselves. Embracing another's "injured limbs" allows us to embrace our own.

Reflecting on this slogan, an old dear friend’s face appeared in my mind’s eye. She and I had stopped talking five years ago. Our values and life paths diverged, and I ended our friendship because it wasn’t sustainable. During the summer of 2022, I ran into her partner at a local Toronto bar. He mentioned how much my friendship had meant to her. I had thought of her often, and this encounter felt like a chance to restart our friendship, to let it become what it needed to be.

I'm happy to say we've been friends since that night, and our friendship is much better now. Meeting each other again at that point in our lives as we accepted each other as we were has been the foundation of a journey towards lifelong friendship.